Saturday, October 20, 2007


Suddenly he realized he felt like a ragged empty shell of worn-out meat.

Trying to keep the shape he had formed his entire life into until then, he started to shiver.
The combustion was gone, all that was left was the memory of heat.
There was, however, no pain.
He wanted to feel the pain, real bad, but it had left with all his other lodgers.
Like if it had had its importance while it longed, sheltering him, revealing itself to him when it was gone.
His pain had been working as an essential organ all that time and he had been convinced, more, certain, that he had to soothe it to have a worthwile life.
Not so.
Pain had kept him in shape.
Pain had kept his engine running.

And now he floated surrounding emptyness, surrounded by noise.
He was quite convinced there was still some spark in him; according to his actions outside in the world of apparences it certainly seemed so, even more, much more than before.
All his innards were projected outside and he didn't have clue if that was a good thing or not.
The emptyness he used to feel at his edges had moved to the inside, and the richness he had felt at his core had shifted to his surface.

It dawned on him.
That was the spark:
Everything was reversed.
He had no idea whatsoever who he was.
And he had never been so sure about what he would become.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

a small one

As an answer to the question "Who’s your favourite actor?", I’d say the guy who played the lost trapper in the movie 'Dreamcatcher' written by Stephen King, who was completely off the map, and then in the course of the movie started meticulously to shit himself until he died with his bowels all over the place. I cannot imagine the poor guy ever had the opportunity to work for the film industry again.
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