Thursday, February 23, 2006

Religious movies

Fade in.

A catholic church. We enter the large front door. The place is packed. The congregation is very attentive.
In the back the priest is coming solemnly wearing the calice with the consecrated hosts. Commentator is explaining the difficult concept of transsubstantiation while the priest moves dignified towards the back of the altar.
Close-up to his feet. When taking the step to the podium he stumbles. He falls painfully like a dead weight on his face, the calice thrown upward with all the hosts flying all over the place. His wig falls off. Immediately after the fall he yiels very hard 'goddamit' and tries to get up grasping the altar cloth. This one slides away, making the huge candles fall and the large crucifix. The crucifix falls on the crotch of the vicar who yiels 'fuck, my balls'. The burning candles fall upon the choir boy, who is actually the 68 yr old janitor with a short choir dress, now on fire, who quickly takes the wine to extinguish and finish to make a mess of the altar.
Camera turns to the crowd. No reaction whatsoever, as if this was part of the ritual.
The priest looks up at the large christ above and says 'now look what you made me do.'

In the distance the muezzin is praying.
Fade out.

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